The middle-class wannabes who grew up herding goats barefoot & fighting jiggers are landing tonight speaking English with an accent that sounds like an illegal migrant somewhere in Minnesota. Mama Jayden & Shantel is currently at the supermarket buying soy sauce to marinate the kienyeji chicken at shags because apparently, the chicken has evolved & now requires international diplomacy before being cooked.She’s also buying Himalayan salt, because sea salt is now too aggressive for her blood pressure, according to a gym instructor who did a two-week online course and now thinks he’s WHO.
On her trolley you’ll also find: Foil paper for ugali & pilau, because food must now be wrapped for aesthetics. She'll pick Wet wipes for a home that has survived 80 years on mafake as toilet paper. Spaghetti for her kids who hate Ugali especially from kisiagi. Popcorn for kina Jayden to keep their mouths busy while the chicken is marinating.
Air freshener for the pit latrine that has natural air conditioner installed where geckos use as an escape route. The latrine must now smell like vanilla lavender dreams. She has also armed herself with dozens of Keringet water bcoz borehole water, the same water that raised her bones, teeth & stubbornness will now affect her immune system.
She suddenly forgot that back in the day, she used to drink that water straight from the jerrican with a metal cup that tasted like rust and courage.And to top it off, she has packed hundreds of newspapers she collected from the office,,, not to educate villagers, but to upgrade their toilet tissue department from mafake to something a bit softer.Ayaaam telling you Omwami, these mido class wannabes will show us things. Interestingly, the younger generation that has been raised in urban set-ups usually adapts to village life better than their parents, who were raised there long before Yehova Wanyonyi brought light to their empty, dark pockets.Now villagers can’t even breathe because Riri, who changed her name from Ariviza has arrived from the city. She'll take hundreds of pictures at the kitchen & riverbanks to show men that she's a singo mother who can make a good wife. Hii ni Maajabu!! Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.
Hekaya courtesy of @Georgediano on twitter/ X
On her trolley you’ll also find: Foil paper for ugali & pilau, because food must now be wrapped for aesthetics. She'll pick Wet wipes for a home that has survived 80 years on mafake as toilet paper. Spaghetti for her kids who hate Ugali especially from kisiagi. Popcorn for kina Jayden to keep their mouths busy while the chicken is marinating.
Air freshener for the pit latrine that has natural air conditioner installed where geckos use as an escape route. The latrine must now smell like vanilla lavender dreams. She has also armed herself with dozens of Keringet water bcoz borehole water, the same water that raised her bones, teeth & stubbornness will now affect her immune system.
She suddenly forgot that back in the day, she used to drink that water straight from the jerrican with a metal cup that tasted like rust and courage.And to top it off, she has packed hundreds of newspapers she collected from the office,,, not to educate villagers, but to upgrade their toilet tissue department from mafake to something a bit softer.Ayaaam telling you Omwami, these mido class wannabes will show us things. Interestingly, the younger generation that has been raised in urban set-ups usually adapts to village life better than their parents, who were raised there long before Yehova Wanyonyi brought light to their empty, dark pockets.Now villagers can’t even breathe because Riri, who changed her name from Ariviza has arrived from the city. She'll take hundreds of pictures at the kitchen & riverbanks to show men that she's a singo mother who can make a good wife. Hii ni Maajabu!! Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.
Hekaya courtesy of @Georgediano on twitter/ X
