Meria
Elder Lister
Once upon a time, there was a Kenyan wrestler from Bungoma named Wafula, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a Kenyan national icon and symbol of Kenyan strength and pride mpaka Ben Githae wrote for him a song.
Punde si punde, news began to circulate of a Ugandan wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable.
As each wrestler’s legends grew, a match was set up between the two, Kenya versus Uganda. The match would be held in Masinde Muliro stadium in Kanduyi, Bungoma county.
Wafula began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Ssebo from Uganda has a move called the Kampala Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Kampala Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Kampala Death Grip”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the stadium in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Kampala death grip. No one has ever escaped the Kampala death grip”.
Four seconds into the match, the Ugandan had Wafula in the Kampala death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed Wafula for not listening to his advice.
All of the sudden he heard the crowd errupt in a chant of ‘Kenya! Kenya! Kenya!’ He looked up and saw the Ugandan pinned by Wafula. The coach ran out to meet Wafula and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Kampala Death Grip, I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Kampala death grip?”
With heavy breath, Wafula told him “Well coach, that Ugandan grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain, nikiwa nimekunjwa kama nguo inakamuliwa, when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” In a concerned tone, said the coach... “Wafula wefwe, I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified”
Wafula turned to him, “I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls”
Punde si punde, news began to circulate of a Ugandan wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable.
As each wrestler’s legends grew, a match was set up between the two, Kenya versus Uganda. The match would be held in Masinde Muliro stadium in Kanduyi, Bungoma county.
Wafula began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Ssebo from Uganda has a move called the Kampala Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Kampala Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Kampala Death Grip”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the stadium in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Kampala death grip. No one has ever escaped the Kampala death grip”.
Four seconds into the match, the Ugandan had Wafula in the Kampala death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed Wafula for not listening to his advice.
All of the sudden he heard the crowd errupt in a chant of ‘Kenya! Kenya! Kenya!’ He looked up and saw the Ugandan pinned by Wafula. The coach ran out to meet Wafula and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Kampala Death Grip, I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Kampala death grip?”
With heavy breath, Wafula told him “Well coach, that Ugandan grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain, nikiwa nimekunjwa kama nguo inakamuliwa, when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” In a concerned tone, said the coach... “Wafula wefwe, I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified”
Wafula turned to him, “I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls”
