It rained fish in Kano
- Thread starter Mwalimu-G
- Start date
Hizo ni kilo mingi sana.
DeepInYourMind
Elder Lister
You're waking up to the news that the El Nino rains were so mad when your favourite God chosen locust downgraded its forecast to a miniscule trickle, that it decided to show him the painful effects of harbouring a lying tongue, two sides of the mouth, and a PhD that has not been helping him since he acquired it those days he was still the God chosen salt of the evangelical church in Kenya.
Today's papers are reporting that across the seven corners of this country - from Buna in Wajir where a KDF chopper crash landed immeadiately after takeoff yesterday, to Mawego in the Greater Rachuonyo that gave us Archilaus Akuba Banana Is Hard To Climb, and even in Kataboi, that resort city along the shores of Lake Turkana where I nimbled on freshly marinated northlands fish that had gone to school - helpless villages are sinking, hapless household members are sending distress calls, while their hopeless counterparts are moving to higher grounds in search of God, whom we were told used to live in State House, until some intercessors started mocking Him with tongues of deceit reeling lies like an electic sewing machine.
This morning, when I tuned into Radio Nam Lolwe (Radio Lake Victoria) to brush up my heavy Dholuo vocabulary which has been struggling since I bit my tongue when I was asked to read a Bible verse from the Dholuo Holy Book three days ago, I was particularly concerned by the number of calls coming in from Seme asking the radio room to kindly inform the Kenya Red Cross regional office to stop addressing the media and rush to the banks of Awach River, stretching as higher up in Kolenyo through to my Kombija clan in Alwala and round the bend emptying into Lake Victoria around the Ralayo delta.
If you know anyone at the Kenya Red Cross and the Kenya Red Crescent Societies, in Kisumu, in Nyanza, in Kenya and in the Diaspora, kindly inform them that my people have sent me to tell them that they're needed on the ground, not later than 1600hrs Luo East Standard Time (LEAST) today, urgently, and without fail.
I will keep sending this El Nino alert until someone actions up, because Seme is where my umbilical cord was buried, and I wouldnt want to see it floating downstream as it would atrract an irreversible curse on all those who slept on the El Nino job, including your favourite God chosen Mkora The Explorer who is currently smiling sheepishly halfway around the world where he has gone to borrow money from international shylocks he used to call bad names those days when hustlers thought that the devil is found only on the Manchester United club logo.
As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.
Today's papers are reporting that across the seven corners of this country - from Buna in Wajir where a KDF chopper crash landed immeadiately after takeoff yesterday, to Mawego in the Greater Rachuonyo that gave us Archilaus Akuba Banana Is Hard To Climb, and even in Kataboi, that resort city along the shores of Lake Turkana where I nimbled on freshly marinated northlands fish that had gone to school - helpless villages are sinking, hapless household members are sending distress calls, while their hopeless counterparts are moving to higher grounds in search of God, whom we were told used to live in State House, until some intercessors started mocking Him with tongues of deceit reeling lies like an electic sewing machine.
This morning, when I tuned into Radio Nam Lolwe (Radio Lake Victoria) to brush up my heavy Dholuo vocabulary which has been struggling since I bit my tongue when I was asked to read a Bible verse from the Dholuo Holy Book three days ago, I was particularly concerned by the number of calls coming in from Seme asking the radio room to kindly inform the Kenya Red Cross regional office to stop addressing the media and rush to the banks of Awach River, stretching as higher up in Kolenyo through to my Kombija clan in Alwala and round the bend emptying into Lake Victoria around the Ralayo delta.
If you know anyone at the Kenya Red Cross and the Kenya Red Crescent Societies, in Kisumu, in Nyanza, in Kenya and in the Diaspora, kindly inform them that my people have sent me to tell them that they're needed on the ground, not later than 1600hrs Luo East Standard Time (LEAST) today, urgently, and without fail.
I will keep sending this El Nino alert until someone actions up, because Seme is where my umbilical cord was buried, and I wouldnt want to see it floating downstream as it would atrract an irreversible curse on all those who slept on the El Nino job, including your favourite God chosen Mkora The Explorer who is currently smiling sheepishly halfway around the world where he has gone to borrow money from international shylocks he used to call bad names those days when hustlers thought that the devil is found only on the Manchester United club logo.
As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.
You're waking up to the news that the El Nino rains were so mad when your favourite God chosen locust downgraded its forecast to a miniscule trickle, that it decided to show him the painful effects of harbouring a lying tongue, two sides of the mouth, and a PhD that has not been helping him since he acquired it those days he was still the God chosen salt of the evangelical church in Kenya.
Today's papers are reporting that across the seven corners of this country - from Buna in Wajir where a KDF chopper crash landed immeadiately after takeoff yesterday, to Mawego in the Greater Rachuonyo that gave us Archilaus Akuba Banana Is Hard To Climb, and even in Kataboi, that resort city along the shores of Lake Turkana where I nimbled on freshly marinated northlands fish that had gone to school - helpless villages are sinking, hapless household members are sending distress calls, while their hopeless counterparts are moving to higher grounds in search of God, whom we were told used to live in State House, until some intercessors started mocking Him with tongues of deceit reeling lies like an electic sewing machine.
This morning, when I tuned into Radio Nam Lolwe (Radio Lake Victoria) to brush up my heavy Dholuo vocabulary which has been struggling since I bit my tongue when I was asked to read a Bible verse from the Dholuo Holy Book three days ago, I was particularly concerned by the number of calls coming in from Seme asking the radio room to kindly inform the Kenya Red Cross regional office to stop addressing the media and rush to the banks of Awach River, stretching as higher up in Kolenyo through to my Kombija clan in Alwala and round the bend emptying into Lake Victoria around the Ralayo delta.
If you know anyone at the Kenya Red Cross and the Kenya Red Crescent Societies, in Kisumu, in Nyanza, in Kenya and in the Diaspora, kindly inform them that my people have sent me to tell them that they're needed on the ground, not later than 1600hrs Luo East Standard Time (LEAST) today, urgently, and without fail.
I will keep sending this El Nino alert until someone actions up, because Seme is where my umbilical cord was buried, and I wouldnt want to see it floating downstream as it would atrract an irreversible curse on all those who slept on the El Nino job, including your favourite God chosen Mkora The Explorer who is currently smiling sheepishly halfway around the world where he has gone to borrow money from international shylocks he used to call bad names those days when hustlers thought that the devil is found only on the Manchester United club logo.
As for me and my family, we will serve the Lord.
Wasnt it the meteorological department that issued a downgrade of the rains....ama niwache kuharibu narative
Mwalimu-G
Elder Lister
Siku gani? Didn't you even ask me here and I told you El Nino yaja? Didn't you hear the Director General of met himself clarify that they are not the ones that advised Nanii?
Met Dept Boss: I Don’t Know Where President Ruto Got El Nino Misinformation
By Dennis Musau Published on: November 19, 2023 10:44 (EAT)
Kenya's president William Ruto. (EDUARDO SOTERAS/AFP)
The director of the Meteorological Department, David Gikungu, says he does not know who gave President William Ruto false information that the department had scaled down its El Nino phenomenon alert.
Ruto on October 22 said the department had cut back its El Nino alert to short rains, telling a church service in Nairobi’s Dagoretti area, "You see the department has now said there will be no El Nino, we will only have significant rains, which is even better for us to get to our farms and produce more."
He even linked the rainfall Kenya is receiving to the prayers he conducted at the Nyayo National Stadium in February, saying they had paid off.
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His announcement contradicted earlier warnings by the department going back to May, where the weatherman had been warning that El Nino was expected in Kenya between October and December, with a possibility of extending to January 2024.
Now, Gikungu says Ruto’s announcement was not a result of the failure of their forecasts. In an interview with Citizen TV on Sunday night, the Met boss was asked what was behind the miscommunication.
“I hope that one day I will find out the truth,” he responded, “The science was not wrong. The statements we have been giving, what you would call official communication, have not suggested anything that would withdraw the El Nino phenomenon.”
Three weeks after Ruto’s announcement, on November 10, Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua made the Met Department boss apologise over the government’s miscommunication on the matter after summoning him to address the current state of rains in the country.
Gikungu says his apology was to set the record straight on the purported changes to the forecast, and he has yet to know who gave the president such information.
“I am yet to know the source of that information, but as the head of the department, I needed to state that the forecast has not changed. I needed to state that I am sorry about that miscommunication because as far as I am and the science is concerned… we are all in an El Nino season,” he said on Sunday.
Asked whether he is concerned about the credibility of the Met Department moving forward, the director said, “I am. Given my position, I have to be concerned and that is why I issued an apology.”
Eng'iti
Elder Lister
SMH
Must he be updating us on how two flies are kissing?
Hizo kei zake unanyonya zimengara sasa
Kanyagia hasira, utapata ulcers bure
QuadroK4000
Elder Lister
Siku gani? Didn't you even ask me here and I told you El Nino yaja? Didn't you hear the Director General of met himself clarify that they are not the ones that advised Nanii?
Met Dept Boss: I Don’t Know Where President Ruto Got El Nino Misinformation
By Dennis Musau Published on: November 19, 2023 10:44 (EAT)
Kenya's president William Ruto. (EDUARDO SOTERAS/AFP)
The director of the Meteorological Department, David Gikungu, says he does not know who gave President William Ruto false information that the department had scaled down its El Nino phenomenon alert.
Ruto on October 22 said the department had cut back its El Nino alert to short rains, telling a church service in Nairobi’s Dagoretti area, "You see the department has now said there will be no El Nino, we will only have significant rains, which is even better for us to get to our farms and produce more."
He even linked the rainfall Kenya is receiving to the prayers he conducted at the Nyayo National Stadium in February, saying they had paid off.
ALSO READ
"There are those who criticised us when we prayed for rains at Nyayo stadium. They said a whole president is praying for rain. Now see, we have more rains than we have had in four years, that is God's doing," Ruto said then.
- Ruto urges reciprocal relationship between Europe and Africa in tackling climate change
- Kenyans stare at higher electricity and fuel prices as new Bill seeks to double EPRA levy
- EACC seeks to recover grabbed property worth Ksh.10 billion in Mombasa
His announcement contradicted earlier warnings by the department going back to May, where the weatherman had been warning that El Nino was expected in Kenya between October and December, with a possibility of extending to January 2024.
Now, Gikungu says Ruto’s announcement was not a result of the failure of their forecasts. In an interview with Citizen TV on Sunday night, the Met boss was asked what was behind the miscommunication.
“I hope that one day I will find out the truth,” he responded, “The science was not wrong. The statements we have been giving, what you would call official communication, have not suggested anything that would withdraw the El Nino phenomenon.”
Three weeks after Ruto’s announcement, on November 10, Deputy President Rigathi Gachagua made the Met Department boss apologise over the government’s miscommunication on the matter after summoning him to address the current state of rains in the country.
Gikungu says his apology was to set the record straight on the purported changes to the forecast, and he has yet to know who gave the president such information.
“I am yet to know the source of that information, but as the head of the department, I needed to state that the forecast has not changed. I needed to state that I am sorry about that miscommunication because as far as I am and the science is concerned… we are all in an El Nino season,” he said on Sunday.
Asked whether he is concerned about the credibility of the Met Department moving forward, the director said, “I am. Given my position, I have to be concerned and that is why I issued an apology.”
@Mwalimu-G
Are you actually trying to extrapolate to 'that' guy?
Ok.
Good luck with that.