The clouds gather apace
- Thread starter Mwalimu-G
- Start date
Mwalimu-G
Elder Lister
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Imagine being hired as the CEO of a blue-chip corporation from a pool of qualified candidates, winning the role with 7.1 million votes against your closest competitor's 6.9 million, in a contest where over 8 million abstained. In your inaugural board meeting, you confidently present your strategy, chewing charts and promising immediate improvements never seen before.
However, 1 yr into your tenure, the company's fortunes have significantly bottomed out, with profits doing an Air Malaysia. Instead of addressing yawning gaps, you spend productive hours criticizing the previous CEO, including invading the sanctity of the ear drums of anyone who cares to listen by narrating, while frothing at he mouth, how the previous CEO used to love Johnnie Walker (even though this would naturally meet the gossip threshold).
You, however, forget that little detail in your cv indicating that you were deputizing the previous CEO, and the brain behind his success. During this period, you've awarded substantial car grants to your C-suit executives and even supported the creation of a needless office for one of their spouses.
You've boldly announced, while throwing gang signs like a West Coast rapper during your meet-the-people tours, plans to build luxurious houses for every employee, complete with jacuzzis, all without board or shareholder approval.
Despite these controversial actions, your deputy CEO and appointed department heads defend your decisions, insisting that anyone opposing your “heavenly” plans should commune with your ‘mambo matatu’. No matter how many push-ups a lizard does, it will never have the chest of a crocodile.
QuadroK4000
Elder Lister
Waaah